Single Movement Mind Fuck

Last week, when I went into the gym there was a list of ridiculious things on the board… things like 500 wall balls, 250 lunges, 500 double unders, amrap air squats, 350 tire flips and other equally shitty things. After we warmed up Chris explained to us that when we are working out, we all experience the overwhelming urge to stop moving because it hurts or we discourage ourselves or SOMETHING, for those of us that CrossFit… you know exactly when that moment is. The purpose of this wod was to train our minds that we can push through the physical pain, to remind us that our brain is the strongest muscle that we are training.

With all of that said, we all had a moment to decide what we were going to do. We have done things like this before and every time its been called something different. The first time I did it, the board said “pick your poison” I ended up running up and down the alley of our gym 60 times (100 meters each way) and I remember getting about 20 in and thinking what in the hell am I doing?!?! It ended with Chad running with me through the end, talking to me and distracting me from the pain, keeping me running. I hurt so bad the next day. The second time I did something like this it was a Saturday and Alec and Steve had decided that everyone needed to get on the fire breather board, I had missed the 2k fire breather row time by 9 seconds two weeks prior to this day and ended up very reluctantly sitting back on the rower with Alec reassuring me that I could do it. At the end of the 2k I ended up beating my prior time and making it on the board! My original time was 8:39, my second time was 8:22. I cannot even put into words how unbelievably excited I was, especially since when I sat on the rower I in no way believed that I would beat my previous time. Again, just like the last time I picked my own wod, it hurt bad. So here I am standing in the gym staring at the board, thinking of the 2 other times that I had chosen my own workout and wanted to kill myself half way through and then again the next day… my strategy was to pick something that I knew I could finish in the 40 min time cap but would still challenge me. I ended up debating between lunges and squats… after I had seen that everyone else was choosing lunges I decided that I wouldn’t be like everyone else and it couldn’t be that bad squatting for 40 minutes.

40 minutes of squatting… sounds easy… but it really was a single movement mind fuck. When I first started CrossFit, I hated squats because my knees would bow in, I couldn’t go low enough and it hurt… I have come a long way since then and evaluated in my head how many I though I could do in the time I had. I decided that 500 was a fair number and that’s was my goal. Chris said that I needed to get 600 and I thought to myself there is absolutely no way I am going to be able to do 600 squats… crazy trainer and his ridiculous expectations!!

So here goes nothing, 100 flew by and I was surprised on how easy it seemed to be. I knew I was doing full range of motion as well because I had the med ball. My strategy once I had started was to count 100 at a time because I know that in my head once I got to counting to myself 450 or so I would slow down. It is extremely important to me that every time that I enter the gym that I challenge and push myself, so slowing down as I approached my goal was not an option. While doing the work out I was watching everyone else finish up their lunges and double unders and tire flips and I was still squatting with about 15 minutes to go. It is so hard for me to continue the work when everyone else is done. Here is where the mind begins to turn negative on me, I had already done a ton of squats and I deserve a break… etc. Well, that’s why we crossfit together and have a trainer there, because those last 15 minutes all I got was encouragement to keep on going and that I was doing great. 500 squats came and went, then I hit 600 and was floored and surprised… there was still time on the clock, so I thought I’d see if I could get 700… done… so I just went as fast as my legs would let me go as Chris yelled 2 more minutes, 1 more minute… done! I ended up doing 741 full range air squats in 40 minutes. HOLY SHIT was my initial thought and then I realized how badly my legs hurt, I walked it out the best I could, rolled out and still ended up leaving the gym looking like someone had shoved a stick up my butt. Thursday and Friday were painful, but I felt good and I was proud of myself.

This wod and the 2 other times that I had chosen how I was going to punish my body is a perfect example on why I love CrossFit so much. I had a goal and an expectation for myself, I had the typical negative thinking and self doubt. I committed myself to completing something and was surrounded by people who understood what it takes and encouraged me through the pain and self doubt.

In the end, I surprised myself and learned that I am far more capable of anything that I originally thought. I know that surrounding myself in the CrossFit community is a huge part of my success in my daily life, people care about what is going on with me outside of the gym. It is the most amazing thing in the world to experience genuine people that care and you know will not judge you because when we are all in there together, each of us has been to that dark negative place and we all are there to help each other out and show each other what we are capable of.

I cannot say that I honestly really like any of the wods because very simply they hurt, but each one teaches me something and I take that for what it is, I know before I go in that it is going to hurt and it isn’t going to be easy, but I still go because I know that I am worth it. I am grateful for my CrossFit Costa Mesa family and the how far that I have come in less than a year with all of their help, support and push.

Single Movement Mind Fuck… thanks for that Chris… it was a good one!