In my 24 years of life I have lived through what most people can’t even begin to fathom. In a nut shell both of my biological parents were on drugs my entire childhood, I moved from city to city, I remember drug raids at our home, I was molested for 7 years and when I told my family I was called a liar, I was beaten, dug through trash with my family for food, I was involved with older men and drugs, I made poor decisions that landed me in foster care, that’s just some of the bad stuff… I am not sharing any of this to get pity or for people to feel sorry for me, its simply a part of my past and it’s a part of what makes me… me. I have also had some really good things happen that has made me who I am today, I have wonderful people in my life like my grandma, aunt, foster family, mentor and friends that I have had for more than 10 years, I have gotten the chance to travel a little and have some awesome memories with some good people.
About 2 years ago I met one of my very good friends that started to tell me that it was time to start living my life for me, and I thought that I was. What I didn’t understand is that all of my experiences up until meeting him were not always entirely for me and if it was, it was not a healthy situation. It was at that point that I believe I started to really pay attention to the decisions that I was making for myself and take charge of my life. I have never felt sorry for myself or gone looking for pity, I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that you are only given what you can handle. I started to realize that it was a decision that I made daily to wake up each day, get dressed and come to work, to pay my bills, to choose to associate with the people that I did. When you start to open your eyes and look around and accept the fact that you are living your life is when the changes start to happen.
My friend was there to call me on my bullshit. If I wasn’t happy in a situation or didn’t like something… why not just change it? It’s my life. I know that it doesn’t seem that cut and dry to most people, but in reality, it is. Some decisions are harder than others, and some things you don’t want to deal with… so we procrastinate, but ultimately it’s your life and you are in control of it.
Around this same time I was about 185 lbs and 5’4’’ and didn’t see anything wrong with that. I was heavy, but refused to accept that fact or even do anything about it. Now there are a ton of reasons, I am sure why I found myself where I was…none of which I care to dive into at the moment. I never played sports when I was a kid and as I got older had no desire to be active. This same friend of mine told me about CrossFit and started sending me videos on youtube and endless links daily to try and get me to try it. I was absolutely adamant about not trying it. Well, when I went to go and visit this friend of mine I had no choice but to try CrossFit.
I will never ever forget my first week of CrossFit. From the moment that I walked into the gym, I was greeted by people and immediately felt the community. I had no idea what I was doing there and was scared out of my mind. The instructors did not judge me and were patient with me and very friendly. Never in my life had I been around people like that. My first work out… the trainer, Tom, showed me how to do squats and I did a bunch of them until I was comfortable, then I was told to walk it out and come back when I was ready for the rest of my workout. I rested for a few minutes and then said that I was ready… Well, Tom got a med ball and a stop watch and then told me that I would be doing 100 squats, for time. I remember thinking something along the lines of… For time?!?! Are you fucking kidding me?? I’m going to be here all damn night!!... Well, I did the 100 squats and I was not there all night, it took me about 30 minutes, there were a few that didn’t count because I didn’t go all the way down to the ball and so Tom yelled at me from across the gym and eventually I ended up kicking off my shoes so that I could see my toes pointed up. Needless to say that was the beginning of the end for me. I went back the next night and the following night and then when I flew back home the #1 priority that I had was to find a CrossFit close to home that had the same type of people.
I don’t think that I can put into words how sore that I was that first week. How much that I loved how I felt and didn’t quite understand what the attraction was to what I was doing, but I knew it was a good thing. I am sure that it is different for everyone, but for me it was amazing.
I now call CrossFit Costa Mesa my home gym. The first day before I went in I called and talked with Steve, I don’t remember the exact conversation but I know that he asked a lot of questions and listened to me ramble on for longer than I should have. He gave me directions to the gym and told me that Alec would be there because it was his night off. When I came into the gym with my best friend Jill I remember standing in the corner, the same scared feeling because I was in an unfamiliar place. Alec came bouncing up to us and immediately knew who we were because Steve had called ahead. Again I found myself around people that were very friendly and welcoming. I had decided that I just wanted to jump into a regular class and do the workout with everyone else, and Alec and Steve let Jill and I do that. Our first work out at CFCM was a 1000 meter row, 100 strikes with a hammer on the tire, 1000 meter row… My time was 38:13 and the only notes I have in my journal is that I wanted to die.
I have been at CFCM since July 15, 2009 and when I started my measurements on my waist was 32 inches - it is now 29 inches, my hips were 39 inches – they are now 37 inches, my butt was 41 inches – it is now 38 inches. I weighed about 180 lbs when I started CrossFit and I currently weigh 150.
Beyond the numbers and physical appearance I have also experienced what it is like to push myself beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. My mental strength is so much stronger than it was 6 months ago. Because of CrossFit I know that I can get through difficult situations and see my way to the other side because those difficult situations are kind of like an AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) work outs because as much as those SUCK, you know that its only for a little while. I have learned to take my time in the gym and apply it to every day decisions. Things like what I am going to eat, and what I am going to do, I have learned to put myself first and start doing things to make myself a happier, healthy person. Both of my trainers Alec and Steve are there to call me on my bullshit when I am not pushing myself hard, when I am not eating right, they are there to answer questions that I have and to laugh with me when I do something ridiculous. I am around positive, happy, encouraging people that genuinely care about one another. I have laughed, cried, puked and bled with my fellow CrossFitters and it is a bond that I cannot explain in words.
I never in a million years would have thought that I would have turned into the person that is trying to get everyone I know to try CrossFit or would miss out on a late night of drinking because I knew I had a Saturday morning wod (work out of the day) to do. CrossFit has changed my life for the better in less than a year, and I am so excited to see what it is going to continue to do for me and for the people that are willing to get outside of their comfort zone and push themselves. Its all worth it, your worth it, I promise.
