Thursday April 8, 2010
WOD
30-20-10
Row (calories)
Push Press 45#
Box Jump
Sit Ups
My time 19:12
This is a workout that a few months ago would have been no problem for me, but as life has consumed me I have found it increasingly hard to make it to the gym 5 days a week like I was before. Each day holds a new excuse which I justify in my mind as legitimate. I have been averaging going to work out only one time a week and because of this I have noticed a significant change in my work outs. It is hard to breathe it is harder to move fast, its just plain harder. But I know that I am worth even that one day a week right now, I know that as soon as I get my life back in order that I will be back in there aggressively attacking goals and killing them. For now though, I go when I can and suffer through the wod, inevitably finishing somewhere in the back of the pack, which I personally hate. When I saw this on the white board I knew that I would have a hard time with it, but I wasn't expecting to struggle with it like I did, thank you CrossFit. I had no plan of attack to begin with except to just get it done. So I strapped myself into the rower and started the longest 19 min of my week...
I wasn't really focused, stressed from my week and the pressures of still not having a job and coming straight from a bogus interview, I really didn't want to be there... but I found myself there, racing the clock and 5 other CrossFitters and I was more interested in how the people around me were doing, concerned that Lindsay was off the rower before I was, that Katie was moving on to 20 calories on the rower when I was still on 30 box jumps. In the middle of a workout this is a collosal waste of time, I know that and anyone that has worked out like we do knows that as well... Try to rationalize that to me in the middle of a wod, its just not going to happen. So here I was wasting time thinking about EVERYTHING else in my world except getting my reps done and then before I knew it I was the last one out on the floor and then I decided that I needed a strategy before I started crying from embarrassment/frustration and so forth... so all in a matter of seconds I decided to just get one, and then another one and only focus on that one movement that I had to do next. Anyone that has worked out in our gym has heard Steve, Alec, Chris and everyone else yell at each other "JUST GET ONE" Yesterday was the very first time that strategy really, really helped me finish the workout, that coupled with Lindsay in my ear yelling that I was doing great was more help than I think anyone really realized in that moment. So I finished, dead last and probably the worst time of the day for all the athletes that did that workout. Now before I was able to get upset with myself I reminded myself that I'm not in there like I use to be and gave myself credit for what I had done, trying not to let the negative thinking get to me.
When I woke up this morning with a laundry list of things that I need to accomplish for the day, I went back to the moment yesterday when I was ready to break down and give up and decided to just do one thing at a time today. It made it way less stressful and I didn't get it all done yet, but I have given myself credit for what I did do. While I am not going as often as I would like to I am still in the gym and completing wods and taking with me invaluable lessons that I am able to use and reflect upon in my daily life. I cannot wait until I am back up on my feet and able to be in there every day again. My point in sharing this with anyone reading is that things can get overwhelming, everyone knows that, life gets complicated, that doesn't mean that you should give up on yourself, YOU are worth taking the time to work things out and what I have learned is to just take it one thing at a time and surround yourself with good, quality people that care and you will make it through, eventually.
Even if its the longest 19 minutes of your life, you'll get through.
