We made the decision to move to Oklahoma and the days that have followed have been overwhelming. Many people do not understand why we would willingly leave California... please allow me to shed some light on the situation...
I have spent countless hours talking to God trying to figure my life out this last year, I cannot explain the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and swirling pitty for myself... I always “preached” to not be the victim and to be positive... in my crossfit coaches I learned that I had the power to change my world... attempting to figure out how all of that works together and having to be patient has not been easy.
I have changed my outlook on the events that have happened this last year... I thought that I was loosing everything that was important to me, but I believe that this experience has been an incredible opportunity to learn what is really important in life and I have been able to take a step back to look at my life, where it was headed and then make a decision to take a leap of Faith, trust God and go somewhere that I will have a better chance for the life I want for myself and future family.
I really feel like I am at the end of one chapter and starting another, I am scared and sad to be leaving behind so many that I love dearly, but I am excited for the chance to be closer to friends I have that way, my little brother, my boyfriends family and the seasons! I know it sounds silly but living in california there are not really any distinctive seasons, so I am very excited to be living somewhere that I will get to see nature change so dramatically!
This last week I have been combating sad feelings with reminding myself how blessed my California life has been, things as simple as going to the beach frequently, having a season passes to Disneyland, Hollywood at midnight, concerts, driving up and down the state to see mountains, ocean, desert, I have done several things here that many people save a LONG time to be able to do just once... I have also been to Alaska, Hawaii, Mexico, Vegas, Arizona, New York, even our Nations Capitol... I have the most amazing friends and family that anyone could ever wish for, I have been truly blessed for all that I have in my life.
It is going to be very hard to leave all of this behind, I tear up thinking about it... but I know that it is the right decision. Having to find the courage to put the majority of things in storage, pack up my car with necessities and then drive 19 hours to a place that I have never been before that I will now call home is a test of Faith to say the least...
We will be packing up and moving in 5 days, it is so surreal and still has not sunk in... I know it is coming FAST and I am doing everything I can to be prepared, I am very excited though.
I would like to take the time to thank one of my coaches, Alec for Drive Time and for his blog, if anyone is looking for some words to snap you out of dangerous, selfish, toxic thinking and give you some courage to take the steps to change your life for the better, pay attention to what he has to say. Here are the links to check it out:
http://www.TheCrossFitGamer.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/DriveTimeWit...
I think that it will be easier to write about everything and sort through my jumbled thoughts once I am on the other side of this, so instead of rambling on more, I will leave you with a couple quotes that really spoke to me.
“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.” ~Henry David Thoreau
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~Carol Sobieski
